Pregnant and a Little Confused

It’s not even that I’m confused; I’m purely overwhelmed.  I’m dramatically overwhelmed.  I can’t believe how much there is to do; nine months does not seem like enough time for anyone to get everything ready!  I mean, I realize that I don’t have nine months; I didn’t even know I was pregnant until I was three months.  I still can’t believe it.  I spend so much time staring at the mirror, just so confused about how this slipped under my radar.  I never thought about having kids, or not having them.  It just wasn’t even on the horizon, and now, well, it’s a lot closer than the horizon.

There’s so much to do!  My mom says the baby shower will be a big one stop shop for the to do list, but I’m just so overwhelmed.  I feel like I’m on WebMD everyday to figure out what’s a symptom of the pregnancy and what is a symptom of me flipping out.  There are custom pillows and personalized baby blankets and photo throws, and I need to cross check everything and see if it’s baby safe or if my child is going to choke on it.  That is the word that really gets me: child.  I’m going to have a child.  I’m going to be a parent.  What could possibly be more terrifying than that?

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